Thursday, January 31, 2013

Fear of what??

I've been hoping to sit down and blog for a week or so...so I did last night and totally forgot I had started this one, ha ha. I've had some bloggy thoughts on my mind. I haven't even thought it through but I've known I want to write it down and process it all.

Several times lately I've thought about a particular memory. Somewhere around six or seven years ago my youngest daughter had what was, to this mommy, an incredibly hilarious fear. Now that just sounds cruel, doesn't it? Laughing at your little helpless child. But wait until you hear.

For many small todlers, IF they have a fear, it is something like big dogs. Something that is intimidating by size or behavior. And it doesn't surprise us at all. I know it wouldn't have surprised me. But my girl was fine with dogs. It was something else...entirely unexpected...that she was afraid of.

One day the girls and I were walking from our condo out to the car. Suddenly Alli wasn't walking with us and I turn back to see what the problem was, or what had distracted her. She was frozen in fear because right there in the middle of the sidewalk was...not a dog...not a big ugly bird...not a snake. No, no, no. It was a snail. Yes, you read that right. It was a SNAIL! I tried to reason with her and told her to just step over it; it can't jump. I tried telling her to go around it; it's too slow to catch you. But no. She would not budge. So I walked back past the snail, lifted Allison up and set her back down on the other side of the snail and on she went, happy as a lark.

Needless to say, a couple weeks later when a squirrel blocked her path on the sidewalk, separating her from me, I knew better than to expect coaxing to work, ha ha.

I laugh whenever I share "the snail tale." I chuckle when I just think about it. It's one of those fun, peculiar, little stories we moms like to share about our kids. But it gets me thinking, too. That little tiny snail was in no way a danger to Alli. Even if it had wanted to harm her, the most it could have done was slime her. And we all know there's no way it could have caught her to even try. It was harmless. But it paralyzed her. She was NOT going to face that thing alone! She was afraid and so focused on that little thing that there was no reasoning with her. A snail.

We have snail-like fears, too. There are situations that I face sometimes that give me ridiculous levels of anxiety and I find myself praying fervently that God will give me strength and peace to get through. Then I get in the situation and I see what a harmless, snail-sized situation it is and wonder why on earth I was so incredibly freaked out about it.

I wonder why we do that? Why do we make mountains out of molehills? I don't know. But I'm glad I've got good friends, good family, and a good God to lift me up over those little terrifying snails.

Nearly £35k A Year To Move Bags

Holy Mother Fucking Shit. At least the Bus Drivers need to pocess "some" skill to earn their £40k.1. I know time served, fully qualified, professional software developers who earn a lot lot less than this.2. Don't even get me started on how this compares to what nurses earn, the world has gone mad.3. This isn't anywhere near the limit of the cushy little government numbers on the go, somebody

Monday, January 28, 2013

Do Yourself A Favour

Enjoy a bit of Christmas spirit, take a look at this lady's amazing story:-



Support the Facebook page then buy the track from either Amazon or iTunes

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I fucking hate cancer, just the word is bad enough never mind the puking shit, rotting away, body eating itself reality.  To meet it head on with a smile on your face is more than I think I or most could handle

Friday, January 25, 2013

Heartaches

The Thanksgiving holiday is coming down the pike. It is...upon us. You can tell because of the massive CHRISTMAS-IN-YOUR-FACEness that is in every retail place these days. When it's THIS "in your face" it's undoubtedly turkey time...or past. And judging by the fact that I'm not suffering a turkey hangover, I can tell it's turkey time.

For some reason that suddenly reminds me of a sing-songy thing we used to sing and laugh at as kids... "he's a redneck, turkeyneck" (repeat about 1000 times or until your mom gives you that look.)

Anyway, it's time for digging deep and sharing what we're thankful for, right? I have SO much to be thankful for...but I don't feel it right now...which is downright shameful. (And I don't mean that flippantly.)

Instead I feel overwhelmed. I feel fearful. I feel like life is going to blow up in my face and when the dust settles I'll see that I didn't measure up. I'll find out that I'm not enough...for anyone or anything.

And there's a big part of me that figures "who can blame anyone for judging me so?" I can't think of an area of my life where I "cut the mustard." I realize that this is such a pity-party thing...but it's this big dull ache right now and I had to vent it. (Aren't YOU the lucky readers??!) I'm just not sure how to get a grip when I feel like this.

Do you know how dangerous dreams are? Maybe some people dream the possible, but I don't think I can. I dream of things that are not attainable. I don't dream of accomplishments. I don't dream of "doing." I dream of relationships. I dream of stuff like...being chosen. I dream of stuff like...being wanted more than anything else that life offers. I dream of real true love...and finding that it can be reciprocal and not just some romantic nonsense in my head. I dream of someone seeing me, faults and all, and just loving me anyway.

I know it happens. I have this awesome brother. (Don't tell him I said he's awesome.) He's married to his awesome little wife. (You can tell her I said she's awesome.) They love each other. Like...for real. They see the faults, but the love is there. It's solid. It's a fact. Like a universal truth. I can love that way...but what do I have to offer that someone would feel reciprocally? (Is that even a word?)

My brother knew...he KNEW...by the end of one date, that he he had found "the one." He KNEW. I'm happy for them both.

I just can't help but wonder how on earth I made such stupid mistakes. Did I totally mess up the plan that God had for me? Or was it meant for me to walk this road...feeling invisible and bruised?

For the first time in years, here lately, I've felt hopeful. Hopeful that life was going to unfold in a positive way and it's not that those hopes have been smashed. It's that the fear has been stirred. What if I'm not enough?

Tough question.

I now return you to your Thanksgivinginess...and hope to get going here wth some humor very soon, cuz, frankly...this blog was (dare I say it?)...sucky.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Trash or Treasure??

Blogging on my phone today...

You know the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure.". I'm hoping it's really true, because today is garage sale day. Ha ha. Early this morning as I sat watching people slowly drive by, eyeing all my "trash," I thought, "Ah, drat it! It's their trash, too!" Then a couple hours later, when I had melted into a sweaty little puddle and begun dreading moving all the trash back into the garage just to drag it out again tomorrow, the treasure-hunters arrived! Yay! I began wheeling and dealing like a pro! ("Pleeeeeease take it! Here! Have this too! My kids will carry it for you!)

Funny how not too long ago all these pieces of "trash" were treasures to me. What is it about us people? We see things and think, "Ohhhhhh I need that!" or "I HAVE to have that!" And we do what we need to do to get it. Time passes and we find ourselves throwing it out or selling it...whatever we need to do to get rid of it.

Confession: I have some strong packrat tendencies. Know what that means? It means that I have difficulty designating old treasures as trash. Which also translates to the fact that I'm struggling to regain some order in my house. Some people are okay with being that way but it frustrates me. I want my home to be beautiful and peaceful. I think a home reflects on the person who cares for it. Right now my home says I'm a chaotic mess...not quite the message I want to send. Not the person I am or want to be. So...it's on. I WILL conquer it.

So come on people and claim these treasures!! I've got a battle to win!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Should You Buy Contemporary Cappuccino Finish Computer Desk w/ Pull Out Tray ?

Contemporary Cappuccino Finish Computer Desk w/ Pull Out Tray


Contemporary Cappuccino Finish Computer Desk w/ Pull Out Tray
Contemporary Cappuccino Finish Computer Desk w/ Pull Out Tray Dimensions: 42 1/8"L 26"W 36 1/4"H Finish: Cappuccino Material: Wood, Metal & Glass Contemporary Cappuccino Finish Computer Desk w/ Pull Out Tray This sophisticated piece will make a great addition to any office, home, or dorm Features a pull out keyboard tray Assembly Required Read More >>


List Price: $ 328.99






And below is why i think all of you should buy this item :
  • 42 1/8"L 26"W 36 1/4"H
  • Home Office
  • Home Office->Computer Desks and Workstations
  • Some assembly may be required. Please see product details.



Special for our fellow USA citizen, get big discount and fast USA shipping for Contemporary Cappuccino Finish Computer Desk w/ Pull Out Tray this month.



Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Best of IKEA : Borgsjö Desk, Brown

Borgsjö Desk, Brown


Borgsjö Desk, Brown
Product dimensions

Width: 35 3/8 "
Depth: 20 1/2 "
Height: 28 3/4 "


Width: 90 cm
Depth: 52 cm
Height: 73 cm


This product requires assembly

Good to know

May be completed with KASSETT boxes.



Care instructions

Wipe clean with a mild soapy solution.
Wipe dry with a clean cloth.







Product description

Main parts: Particleboard, Foil
Table top/ Bottom panel: Particleboard, Foil, ABS plastic Read More >>


List Price: $ 89.00






And below is why i think all of you should buy this item :
  • - Cable shelf under the table top keeps power strips and cables out of sight and the work surface clear.
  • - The storage unit can be mounted to the right or left according to need.
  • - Adjustable shelves in the cabinet provide space for a computer
  • - Finished on the back. Suitable for use in the middle of a room.



Special for our fellow USA citizen, get big discount and fast USA shipping for Borgsjö Desk, Brown this month.



Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Isle of Man Gets Another Mention At The Olympics

Olympic Diving Fail - watch more funny videos

Friday, January 18, 2013

Say wha???

I teach kindergarten...as you all know. I recently went to observe a teacher at another school to see if I could get some brainy ideas to get a better handle on my very "active" class. I've adapted several of the little tricks (for lack of a better term) that the teacher used. One in particular has led to some humor and I thought I'd just pass it on...

When the class is being pretty noisy, losing focus, etc., I raise my hand high and say, "Give me five." The expected response is that everyone stops what they're doing, raise their hand high, and look at me. I don't know why, but it seems to work like a charm. However, Friday afternoon, I was losing them, so I stopped what I was doing and said, "Give me five." One of the rather...challenging...little boys didn't miss a beat. He immediately said, "Give me some sugar!" Bahahaha, who can NOT laugh at that?

Or how about this one...

When I was observing at this other school, the teacher was doing small group reading lessons. In their story there were two ants who desperately wanted this big red juicy apple but couldn't get it off the tree. So one of their ideas was to just yell at the tree, "GIVE ME THAT APPLE!" By the end of the story they learn to ask nicely and use mannerly words like, "please." Reviewing the story, the teacher asked why the ants couldn't get the apple in the early part of the story. One little girl said, "Because he was talkin' trash to that tree!" Then there were others chiming in about "trash talkin'." Very funny stuff from a five year old. Trust me.

Not earth shaking stuff here, but hey, it's more upbeat than last night's blog! :)...and for the record, that's something to be thankful for!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Doctors

Finally took the time to go back to the doctors yesterday to try and get my back sorted once and for all (it's only been a year).  New Doctor is ace, hardly any wait, very friendly, wanting to look into things straight away...not a pain killer prescription in sight.

Then today I tried to get the ball rolling, a trip to the hospital first to schedule the x-ray.  Denied.  I am not over 55 so they

Monday, January 14, 2013

Stuff

Well I had to give up trying to get blood tests at the hospital, after spending a whole day phoning an engaged/off the hook phone eventually I gave the doctors a call and they said they could do my blood tests the next day, result.  Monday was in fact results day and they even phoned me, how's that for good service?  The good news is that I will live at least another couple of months, the bad

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Blessings all mine...

There are some things in this life that are precious to me. Things I would describe as filling me with wonder. When I began toying with this idea I thought there would only REALLY be a very few things. Then I got to thinking and there are so many to choose from! There's that first snowfall of the season. There's the softness of baby's skin. There's that reddest tree in town in the middle of autumn. There's the way fire ants all attack you, biting simultaneously. (Okay, I hate that one.) There's the way my Yorkie curls up on the back of the sofa and rests her head on my shoulder. (Yep, even that one wow's me...'cause she's the sweetest critter on earth!) But the biggie, the one that got has my attention of late is the wonder of watching my children grow.

I think about my pregnancies, both of which can only be described as extremely easy and uncomplicated. But I remember that incredible wonder of the very first "fluttering." The tests had already shown I was pregnant. The doctors had confirmed that I was pregnant. But with that fluttering, there was no doubt that within me was my own little baby. What an AWESOME realization! And it didn't stop there. No, that was just the beginning! I remember feeling little feet pushing on my ribs, or running across my tummy. Or the response of the baby when I gave it a little nudge to get that foot off my rib! Absolutely amazing. I could go on and on about the wonders of pregnancy and even childbirth (though, with all women, I heartily agree that THAT is unrivaled pain.) Then come all the amazing baby stages. Isn't it amazing how long you can sit and just watch a sleeping baby? They're doing absolutely nothing, but you're transfixed. Men and women alike get captured by them.

I look back and each and every stage has been SO fascinating to watch. But childhood is winding down now and I figured the "WOW's" would be lessening. I was wrong. I have two little tweenies and it's STILL amazing. My Meg-girl is wearing my shoes and grabbing my discarded clothes to see what she can keep and wear before I haul them off to Goodwill...and some of them are fitting! She's catching me...and I love it. She's becoming this beautiful young woman who I could sit and just watch for hours...just like that little baby I brought home thirteen years ago. Friends and acquaintances all give me warnings, "Watch out for the teen years!" and seem to indicate great miseries are in store. But I refuse to accept that. I have been SO richly blessed with girls who are so sweet and so innocent and I know, I know...some of that will change. And I know that many an unsuspecting parent has wondered where everything went wrong?

These girls, they fill me with wonder, and I fully expect that to keep happening. And I thank God for all the little wonders He created in them, that they reveal day after day.

I am a woman truly blessed. And I thank God for that.

As the song says, "Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside...."

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Because Fat People Are Always Funny

Friday, January 11, 2013

I Reiterate - Cancer You Are A Cunt

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I have some amazing friends.  Today I'm going to write about one of them.  You know how there are those people who seem to keep the world spinning on the tip of their finger?  Then they roll it down their arms across their shoulder onto the other hand where it continues its spin?  Like a Harlem Globetrotter with a basketball, these people juggle life and make it look like a no-brainer.  I would say they make it look effortless but I KNOW there is so much effort they put into it that I don't want to even hint at it being an easy thing for them.

That's my friend, Kristen.  I have had a lot of friends in my life.  Friends I treasure and who have been there for me, and who have in no way let me down.  But Kristen flat out amazes me.

She's the mom of four beautiful, spunky girls...all born within a six-year window if I remember correctly.  Can you imagine four girls under the age of six under your feet?  She made it look like child's play.  Can you imagine four girls within the teen years all at once?  She can't either but it's coming!!!  ha ha (Sorry, K)

She worked nights for a couple years so she would be there with them during their waking hours.  Then as the number of girls increased she became a stay at home mom.  Now many moms with four kids would consider keeping the kids alive and the house in one piece enough.  They would do what they needed to make it each week...keep a step ahead of life, and that would be great.  Who could really ask for more?  But that's not Kristen.  She mommed her kids, cleaned her house, cooked wonderful meals, headed the PTA, organized major anniversaries from a state away (single-handed for in-laws), made every child's birthday every year a celebration for the books.  She took the girls on meaningful outings, major vacations, and handled the shopping with four apprentices regularly.  I can't even recall all the things she has done but every time I talk to her (and that would be daily...and multiple times per day, thank you... even though she's never lived even in the same state as me), every time I talk to her she is planning something for someone.  And here's the clincher...she does it all 200%.

I'm a survivalist.  I find 200% to be awe-inspiring...especially when it's how she approaches EVERYTHING.

And when my dad died, though she lived multiple states away and had four little girls to care for, and had every excuse in the book for just offering support over the phone...she came.  She was physically there for me, for my family and knowing no stranger she jumped in the middle of everything and did all she possibly could to relieve others of any duties they were tending to.

You know what that is?  Don't just call it friendship.  It is love in action.  Everything she does, she does with quality and she knows no excuses and makes none, because she doesn't find a need for any.  She shows up.  She completes things.  She loves anyone who walks into her life who gives her half a chance.

And yet, this wonderful amazing woman does not realize that she is a success.  Top of the corporate ladder?  No.  But a success.  Coming from a background where everyone of meaning to her has let her down, she has been a stability to four beautiful girls and a force in my life, too.  (And I'm quite sure that her other friends would say the very same thing.)

K, you are a success.  You live and you give of yourself completely.  I love you.  And I want to be like you when I grow up.  ;)

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

A Breath of Fresh Air

You know how you can miss something and not even realize it until you get it back? That's how I'm feeling these days. Like I'm breathing fresh air for the first time in a long time...and didn't really realize what I'd been missing.

It has been so long since I've been excited about a coming school year. Recent years have found me dreading the school year as each day of my summer break passed. I've approached the year with a deep sigh and trudged back into the classroom. I haven't MEANT for my attitude to stink. I've just been stuck somewhere back in some place between struggle and survival. Ever been there? Not a fun place to be. And it's not a place you jump into. You slip into it one step at a time.

My journey to that place reminds me of a story in the Bible. It's one of my favorite stories because it involves my favorite of Jesus' disciples...Peter. I love Peter. He was so real. He was full of flaws (I know all the disciples were, but Peter gets told on a lot.) He lived life with gusto, too, it seems. I love the story where Jesus walks on the water and Peter asks him to call him out to walk on the water, too. Jesus calls and Peter goes! And while so many of us fault him for faltering faith that found him sinking, I like to commend him for having the faith to get out of the boat.

My journey is similar to Peter's experience. Peter started sinking because his eyes weren't focused on Christ. It's not that he wasn't WITH Christ, but his focus wasn't on Him. And with his focus off his Savior, he saw the winds and the waves and started to sink. The same thing happened to me. Over the past several years, I wasn't away from Christ, but my focus hasn't been on Him like it should. I've had my eyes on the challenges and trials and responsibilities of life and what *I* could do to face them and meet them. I slowly sank into a survivalist mode...doing just what I needed to in order to get by. Doing what I had to do to meet responsibilities but only that, nothing more.

But just like He did for Peter, Christ has come through for me. Peter cried out to the Lord and Jesus lifted him from the sea and saved him. One day, just a few months ago, I was wrapped up in a difficult ongoing situation and thinking I should have taken something to calm my stomach so I could face the difficulty when seemingly "out of the blue" came the thought that I wasn't going into the situation alone, that Christ was going with me. With that thought came complete peace. I believe with all my heart that HE was reminding me. And since that time my outlook has changed. There's excitement where there hasn't been in a very long time. There's anticipation instead of dread!

And so I'm facing this school year in a way I haven't in years. It feels like a breath of fresh air. I didn't realize what I was missing. I didn't know *I* could feel like this.

And it occurs to me: Christ gives us hope. Not just hope for eternity with Him. He gives us hope for today and tomorrow, too. My heart is thankful...and enjoying the breath of fresh air.
 
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